Today=bad

Im feeling horrible today. I feel so fat and im watchin my wife and kids and its about them gaining weight and it makes me feel sooo bad... I wish i knew how to love myself for who i am and like how i look.. Saturday will be one months since ive been home and ive purged like every day since i came home but i cant tell anyone because ill be put in foster care and i cant let that happen... Im feel scared. Angry. And Nervous. :( :(

Eating disorder VS. An abusive partner

I was just thinking about when i was at Cumberland the first time and i was really upset after eating lunch and wanting to purge. Monae one of the staff was telling me how it was my eating disorder talking (i was also saying i was fat and ugly)

She compared my eating disorder as to an abusive boyfriend. At that moment it seems kind of stupid to me but the more I thought about it the more I realized that it was true!

My sister is in an abusive relationship and I kind of study there relationship, things he says to my sister like she's fat, ugly, and a b*tch and some other things.. an eating disorder is really like being in an abusive relationship..

THINK ABOUT IT!


~ Your eating disorder puts you down calls you names and pretty much abuses you mentally and physically. An abusive partner does the same.

~Your eating disorder basically makes it where you depend on it for support or to cope and for me i feel i cant live without it. An abusive partner does the same.

~ Your eating disorder tears you down slowly but surely makes you withdraw from your friends and family. an abusive partner does the same.

~ At the beginning of your eating disorder you think "oh its no big deal i can handle it i can Control it" but then your eating disorder ends up actually controlling you, and the things you can and can not do, the clothes you can and can not wear and of course what you can and can not eat. An abusive partner does the same.


Just some similarities think about these and i will post more soon :)