Today=bad

Im feeling horrible today. I feel so fat and im watchin my wife and kids and its about them gaining weight and it makes me feel sooo bad... I wish i knew how to love myself for who i am and like how i look.. Saturday will be one months since ive been home and ive purged like every day since i came home but i cant tell anyone because ill be put in foster care and i cant let that happen... Im feel scared. Angry. And Nervous. :( :(